Ebonics Translator

Ebonics Dictionary - Steve Harvey

I tell you one thing, if you do have a dictionary, it better be in pencil.

You know you look at the word "hello". How you gonna put the word "hello" in the Ebonics dictionary. You know how many ways we got to say "hello". It'll take up five six pages.

Hey now. haha Waddup. Hey look at him. Haha

And what about the one that ain't a word at all. What about this here "hello"?

Struts across stage. Points with both hands.

But imma tell you the real reason that America is rushing to come up with an Ebonics dictionary.

Dis is the real reason and listen to me close.

Ebonics is the leading cause to white folks taking accidental ass whoopins... during hold-ups.

More white folks has got their ass accidentaly whooped during holdups than any other crime in the history of our country.

Let's look at this closer.

First of all, who amongst us is the hold up man? It is the uneducated.

Cuz see if you've got a education, you know good and well it ain't a good ass idea to hold up liquor stores at 2:30 in the morning trying to raise money.

You've got better sense than that.

But now if you ain't got no education. You ignorant ass think, "Hey, I'dn make a living robbin' liquor stores.

I had this one time I was up in Cleveland about 2:00 in the morning I was in like this 7-11. And I was in there getting some bread and these four brothers came in. And you know I ain't sayin' that all black people steal, you know that ain't true. But that night there was four of them.

And they came in you know and they had that look. You know that look when they fin ta do something, you know they heads be snatchin' around real quick.

You know I was just staring there going, "Aww hell no. No I ain't got no business in here no 2:00 in the morning lookin' for no damn bread."

And they walked in. Now here's the problem when you're uneducated.

Even if you a holdup man you gotta have a good education. Cuz somebody as the holdup man has to make the public servie announcement.

This is the announcement that's made to inform the public as to what's about to occur.

They seem to always manage to elect the dummest fool with them to do the talking.

I don't know how dis works out, but always the ignantest boy does the talkin'

I'm standing in the store, they came in and start positioning they self and the last one walked in. Boy his ignant ass start talking. No education.

The white folk didn't know what to do.

He walked in and said...

Cocks gun

Now right. Now e'body on the goddamn blo.

White people just confused, "Jesus, what's going on?"

I'll say again, "e'body on the goddamn blo."

Now right away, my ass knew.

Crouches down

Cuz see I knew, his ignant ass was trying to say, "Alright, everybody on the god damn floor."

White lady just standing there, "Jesus, what is it?"

I said lady, get yo ass in the flo

Now the brother thinks she disrespecting me.

Now he got the boss turning head. Bitch, I said get in the goddam flo.